Know Your Place

Bob, the one-balled village tomcat, started off my back patio. I had thrown open the door without warning for a morning smoke.

He didn’t scurry far. After two leaps, Bob seemed to realize that running didn’t befit the village boss. He turned and looked up at me square.

“Oh, it’s only you,” he said.

There was no hiss. No swipe of the claws. I’m sure he felt those weren’t needed, not with the likes of me.

His lime green eyes were narrowed, and his upper lip was tightened, raised a tad. I couldn’t miss it––it was a look of disdain.

“I know you. Name is Jack, right? Don’t think for a second, Jack, it’s your patio. I’m letting you smoke here out of charity,” he said.

Now, I’ve always been good with animals. I knew how to defuse the situation. I smiled pleasantly.

“It’s okay, Bob. Don’t be scar––”

“Sure is, Jack. And NHK news flash? I’m the one here who decides if it’s ‘okay’ or not.”

“Just here for a smoke, ol Bob. I’ll soon be out of your way. You need fear nothing from me.”

Bob rolled his eyes.

Tera the dog came to the door to see who I was talking to. He is a huge wuss, so he just inched his pointy whippet nose forward, being careful to not extend further than the protection of my thigh.

“Oh, shit,” he said, pulling back fast. “It’s a CAT.”

“Damn right I’m a cat,” said Bob. “And we’ve had this conversation before, Tokyo boy. It’s my village. Your two humans are here because I say it’s okay.

“As for their stupid ass, sweater-wearing whippet, not so sure,” Bob added. He licked a paw and then smoothed a tuft of fur on his head.

Tera quivered.

I decided to switch gears. “Bob, I know you’re busy with patrols and all, but I’ve got a short story idea. Can I run it past you to get your thoughts?”

“Hit me.”

“It’s about a scientist who––”

“Boring.”

“Alright. Doesn’t grab you. I get it. I’ve got another one. Two small Japanese kids move out to the countryside with their dad…”

“Stupid.”

“Good feedback.” I switched gears again. I was valuing the face time with the village boss and didn’t want Bob to move on yet.

“I’m going to Korea on business on Monday. Will be out for a bit.”

“Great. More time for me to use what you two seem to think is ‘your property’ for hunting. I love it when you guys don’t come out here. Hope you don’t ever come back.”

Bob is one tough customer, at least on the surface. I think he’s really a softie inside. He could just be putting on the boss act to keep all us villagers in line.

“Hey. Jack. Could you do me a favor when you’re in Korea,” he asked.

I couldn’t believe it. I could swear that he was about to ask me to pick something up for him.

“Sure. What?”

“There’s a canned mackerel there…called Dongwon. Comes in an amazing kimchi sauce. Maybe get me three or four of those? I’ll reimburse.”

You know I agreed. If there’s any ‘trick’ to living in Japan I’ve learned after all these years, it’s understand the pecking order. Embrace it. Play your part.

“Three cans coming up for the best village boss we could ever––”

“Save it.”

Bob rolled back to lay out in the sun. He pointed a back leg straight in the air and began licking that one ball.